Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
