im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
