You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
