69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
