lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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