the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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