He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
