Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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