Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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