Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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