i wish starbucks made bloody marys
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
