I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
