brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The adults are the big ones right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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