dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
