Where are you?
In a non slutty way
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
