I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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