I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize