I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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