If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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