i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
