It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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