I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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