can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
