Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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