I CAN MOONWALK!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
