Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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