When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
