I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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