Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
