Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
