i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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