My boss' voice literally gives me gas
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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