I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Randomize
