You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
