Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
