woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
