You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize