You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
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