Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
