The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
