i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize