He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
