Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
