i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
