genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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