I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize