Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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