his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
