yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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