They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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