He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
