Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
