He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize