You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
