You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
