And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
