id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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