In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
