eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
