dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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