tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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