Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
