Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
