have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
