i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
