Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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