we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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