hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
