Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so explain again why im purple
no
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
