I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
