the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
