if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
