If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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