I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
