remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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